Me Again

I've not been on this blog for a long, long time. But I am considering reactivating it and using it as something of a journal. Not sure how long I'll continue or how often I will post but I think it will do me some good.

Right now I am embarking on my umpteenth try to do the Fly Lady program. I need some structure in my life and I hope I can use this to provide that structure, also my house is a wreck and needs to be cleaned up. I will go along with baby steps as she suggests, decluttering a bit each day and also, my own interpolation into the program, get some cleaning done daily. (she has a cleaning schedule but you don't start it right away and I don't want to give myself another excuse not to do the work) I get lots of anxiety when I clean. There are a lot of reasons for this, some arises from my past, some comes from the fact that I have mental health issues (OCD, and Bipolar Disorder but doing well with them thank you). The trick is to try and get past the anxiety, and make progress. I hope that writing on this blog will help me with the process.

Back Again

Well I've been at the new job for about 2 weeks and so far it's going well. Nice people, no real pressure and the money is good. What a change from Lousy Job! The only cloud on the horizon is from the Extra Job I have. I took on some extra work while doing Lousy Job and I don't really like doing it much. Not as much stress as Lousy Job was as it is only once a month, but today I should have gone out and done some work for it, yesterday too but I just couldn't make myself do it. (I have a long deadline so it's OK I can do it next week). I am going to send an email off to the district manager telling her that after this month I have to quit due to a change in schedule for my regular job. Not exactly a lie but not exactly the truth. I just can't go and say I don't feel like doing this anymore, doesn't sound right. I'll send it off after I do this month's work.

DS is coming home for the weekend. We have a Bar Mitzvah to go to and have to buy him a suit so he is coming up to get one. Can't wait to see him. He's been doing very well at school the last few weeks. I also had a meeting at his school to discuss his progress and he has come up a grade level in most areas. More than a grade level in some. We are so proud of him. It's not been a easy time for the kid and he's managed to come further than anyone expected. Just goes to show you what the right environment will do for a kid.

DD on the other hand had a bad report card. Came down a lot in a few subjects. I think it was because she is not used to taking midterm exams and that's what did it. I will have to speak to the teachers involved and try to find out what's going on with her. She seems to be trying so I don't really understand what happened. She was very upset by it. At least she still made honor roll on the strength of other grades. She's a good kid and I am not too worried but do want to jump on the problem before it gets worse.

DH continues to have pain from his chest. They say is muscle damage and will take time to heal. The rib is healed so there is no real problem there it's just time and patience. We did hear from our lawyer and will be getting a small amount of money from the incident. Doesn't matter that it was small. We would never have pursued it if we hadn't heard that the sprinklers had been running on a 20 degree day causing the ice that made DH fall.

I've been reading trashy romance novels lately. A great escape from the every day. They go fast and are a lot of fun. Sometimes you can see the plot a mile away but I don't care. I plan to pile up a bunch of them and then sell them on eBay. I've seen lots of them on sale that way. Not so much to make the money but just to get them gone after I'm done with them. I ordered a bunch directly from the publisher the other day. Got a discount and don't have to pay shipping either. If you are into romance novels and want a good deal go to www.eharelequin.com.

Resignation Time

Well I've sent off the email saying that I was quitting now all I have to do is wait. I am strangely nervous about this. The last week on Lousy Job was real bad and I don't expect a very good reaction to this news. I suppose I shouldn't care but in fact I do. It's become obvious that in the last few weeks I haven't done the best of jobs, and that's not something I'm proud of. I don't like getting yelled at or being thought bad of. And that's what I think I am going to get. Well it's not going to last long. So I suppose I can grin and bear it.

Didn't make it to my Sangha (Buddhist group) today. Weather was horrible and it wasn't safe to drive, so everything is put off for a week. I will get that fabric cut eventually. My problem is that the instructions are a bit confusing so I need some help deciphering them. I hope to get that next week and get started sewing. Lots of sewing in my future, and all of it by hand. I can do it I'm just concerned about doing it right. But I keep getting told that each piece is individual and not to be too concerned. That this is mine and mine alone so I just need to please myself. Easier said than done! I'll be ripping out lots of seams and redoing them, I'm sure.

DD is off at a sleepover so DH and I get some time to ourselves tonight. Perhaps a dinner, maybe even a movie. Doesn't happen often enough when you have kids. Even older kids like ours are. Should be a nice evening.

I've been playing the Sims 2 a lot lately. Totally addictive game and much better than the original one. Not as bug ridden so it doesn't crash all the time and lots more options for game play. I have to pick up one of those strategy guides either in the store or on the net for some pointers. Although I do fine on my own. It's a great stress reliever. A very involving and relaxing game I highly recommend it to all. I could use a new video card to make it run better but so far it's been slow but fine. An 8 on a 10 point scale.

Back From Hiatusland

Sorry I've not been posting. Lousy job has been hell lately. This past week in particular. The stores are getting a big visit from some top level guy and had to be in tip top shape. Well my supervisor did not like the condition of the three of my stores that were getting visits so she put me through hell getting them ready. Long hours, lots of yelling. The story has a very happy ending. Potential new job is no longer potential new job, it is officially NEW JOB now. I have a starting date of January 30th. Which gives me time to be decent to the folks at lousy job and give two weeks notice. If I am lucky they won't want it and will tell me to take a hike right away. Wish we luck on the new adventure.

DS is doing well at school. Mostly on Green(the highest behavior level at his school) with only one incident that got him briefly knocked down to Red (the lowest behavior level at school yellow in the middle like a traffic light). He is definitely doing better. The big thing with him right now is that they want to stop occupational therapy. That works on fine motor skills. They feel that he's come as far as he can go. A good thing I suppose but his handwriting is still horrible. Partly because of side effects of medications he takes. They are going to try giving him yet another med to see if it cuts the side effects down. We'll see if it works. For now he keeps the therapy till our state's educational review process kicks in. (his school is in another state than ours). I'll give the school a call this week to see if the meds are working at all.

DD was sick a couple of days this week. But otherwise she's been fine. She's in drama at school which is a problem with my new job. I may not be getting out in time to pick her up. She may have to wait a while for me to show up at the school to get her. It used to be that the middle school ran a late bus, but we defeated the budget last year (and it deserved to be defeated), so they cut out the late bus in the austerity budget they had to put in. Thus if you kid has an after school activity (and there are VERY few of those in this budget) you have to pick them up from the school. Big pain for the parents. Not fair to the kids with working parents. But for the most part she shouldn't have to wait for me for very long if at all or she may be able to hitch a ride with a friend from time to time. We'll see. They're doing Aladdin, from the Disney movie.

DH still has pain from his broken rib. I keep telling him to call the doctor and find out how long it's supposed to hurt. But he keeps putting it off. I'm concerned frankly. I have no idea how long it takes for a rib to heal. But I know it does take a long time. Whenever he sneezes of coughs it just kills him. I hate to see him hurt like that, and his whole side is still tender. I suppose it will be one of those things where one day he'll wake up and it will just not hurt anymore.

I am a Buddhist which is something I've not really spoken about on the blog. I will be taking formal vows most likely on March 12. I have to complete a small biblike garment for the event that has me really nervous. I am totally afraid of screwing it up. I am even afraid of cutting the fabric and making a mistake . Well today I am going to do it! I have to wash and then cut the some black fabric. Then it has to be folded and sewn in a specific way. Then sewn to a backing, then to a piece of white silk then a strip of fabric around it, then a strap to put around my neck. Something gets written on the white silk by my teacher. I am nervous and excited at the same time. The vows signal my formal commitment to the Buddhist path. There is not requirement that I do this, I just want to. My Buddhist practice means a lot to me. It has brought peace to my life and this ceremony is an outward sign of that. We (my Buddhist group that is) will most likely do it as part of a Zazenki or all day sitting. My family will come for the ceremony and then leave us to the sitting part of the day. Can't see my DH and DS sitting in meditation for hours :). Although I actually enjoy it quite a bit. After all that time sitting you feel like a new person.

That's it for now folks. See you next time

Some Progress

Things seem to be moving along with Possible New Job. I got a packet in the mail from them which I have to fill out and then they check my driving record (thought they already did that but whatever) and I am in. I have to do a bunch of copying at Kinkos but it's worth it. They need some documents and I need copies of what I send to them so Tuesday I'll be spending some time doing that.

DS has been wonderful the whole time he's been here. It's going to be hard to let him go when it's time to go back on Monday. I hope he doesn't give us any trouble that day. We've had some issues with him returning to school in the past and the last time was horrible but DH was in the hospital that day and he was scared so that would explain it. DH will be taking him to the train to go back and that should keep him calm. He rarely gets upset with DH. If we think he's going to get upset we'll make the long drive to the school ourselves. But I am amazed by how well he is doing this past week. So calm and so interactive which for a kid with Bipolar disorder and Autism is pretty damn good.

DD bought herself a Ninetndo DS with her Hanukkah money plus some she'd saved on her own. She seems to be happy with it. OK, she's obsessed with the thing :). It's pretty interesting with a touch screen to do most of the work in addition to the usual keys that control the action. What's nice is that it's backward compatible you can play Nintendo Advance games on it so the old games she has are still usable. The kids also got some CD's, DVD's, games and still a couple of more presents to come. We don't give out eight presents we try to keep this low key. We've also given them money this year as they are a bit older and we figure they can buy what they like this way.

DH is still feeling pain from his rib and I think I have persuaded him to call the doctor and have it checked out. It seems to me that the pain should be getting better and it hasn't really decreased in a long time. He's considering calling this week. I know it should still be sore but this is a bit more than I think he should be feeling.

Tonight is New Years Eve and we will be celebrating, as we always do, with our best friends. This year at their house. Lots of food, talk and perhaps some football watching. (we all enjoy football and there's a game on tonight) I wish you all a very wonderful New Year and the best for 2006.

Tell Me Something Good.....Please!

Still haven't heard about Possible New Job. I was lead to believe the job was mine pending a search of my driving record, which is pretty good (one small accident a few years ago), and that they'd know by Wednesday. Well that came and went and I've heard nothing. I'm going to call on Tuesday and see what's going on. I just have to get out of Lousy Job. I just got something in the mail I have to do this week for it and I don't even understand how to go about it. I suppose I'll figure it out but it's going to be a pain. I also have a project to do in one store that I've been putting off that really should get done too, and a potential problem in that same store with one of the managers (who is nice but a control freak nut). It doesn't end. I wish I could just leave the job at the job. I hate not being able to do that. I want a job that ends at the end of the day. Not one that goes on and on.

DS is home till January 2. He's doing very well so far. He spent the day with my mother-in-law while I worked. Behaved himself, made her tea and cookies and even helped her make a sandwich. Not much for a normal 15 year old but for a kid with high functioning autism and bipolar disorder this is big. He even decided to wash the dishes without being told. No dishwasher, did it the old fashioned way. Took a shower without prompting too. They are doing a heck of a job at his school. He's come far in the nearly one year since he's been there, very far indeed. Right now he's watching some videos we took out of the library. Some old favorites including a couple of Anime, which both he and DD love.

During the same trip to the library I took out a couple of books myself. A book called the Cheese Primer about, you guessed it, Cheese. I adore cheese in all it's forms and this is a book I've wanted to read for a while. It's written by a noted NY area cheese expert and is full of facts, tidbits and all matter of things cheese. DD is almost as much of a fanatic as me. There's a market near here with an extraordinary cheese section and we stand in front of it and drool. We try a new one each time. I happen to like goat cheese a lot and they have an excellent goat Gouda. They also have some wonderful long aged cheddar. Expensive but worth it. The other book I got was about artisan breads. I've been baking bread again after a long lay off and I want to expand my repertoire. I've plenty of bread books but want something I've never done before. Something new to tickle the taste buds and my skills. We'll see how I do.

Just Some Chit Chat

I'm feeling a bit better these days. There's another job possibility on the horizon, I'll know about it soon. I'll post about it if and when I get it. Let's not jinx this one :). Work at lousy job is not so bad right now. Dealing with a couple of annoying people is what's getting me down, got a nice "gift" today one of them was out. Good thing too she's going to have a world of crap to hand me when she gets back. You see I work for a broker that services stores for distributor. So I have no real power over the product or the credits or really anything. I'm a conduit. These folks keep forgetting that. *sigh* With any luck it will be over soon.

Best news is that DS comes home for a visit tomorrow until January 2nd. It will be wonderful to see him even though I will have to work for some of the time he'll be home. I at least have him near by. I've been missing him a lot lately. He's been doing well, being independent and I guess that makes me miss him more, he needs me less.

DH is nearly back to normal. Still having to be careful about lifting things and it hurts to sneeze but he's doing much better than he was. At this point it's just the broken rib healing. Although he can't fly till like March as a precaution for the lung. Since we don't plan any trips this is not a problem.

DD is in the drama club which for me is a royal pain. Our district rejected it's school budget and we are on austerity. One of the things they cut out was the late bus, so for the few extra curricular activities still left after the cuts you have to go pick your kid up. For a working mom this is a problem. I can usually make it in time but I worry about times when I can't. Today I had a sixth sense I'd be late so I told her to hitch a ride with her best friend. (her mom never has a problem with this) DD has no cell phone due to the fact that DH doesn't want her to due to cost and other factors. I think that it may be time to push harder for DD to get that cell.